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Life is a familiar four-letter-word with which we all find the means to exist. However, along with these four letters come many terms such as love, responsibility, serenity, and friendship, all of which hold many meanings in the eyes of different individuals. Friendship is a word tossed around far too often in today’s society. It seems that everyone is given the title of “friend.” Although The Webster’s Dictionary defines a friend as “1.A person one is fond of .A person on the same side .A supporter 4.A helpful, reliable person,” it is agreed that people possess their own personal idea of what makes a good friend and for what reasons friendships are established. Many authors portray their ideas of friendship with the above characteristics however; regardless of if the ideas vary from social status to physical attraction and even excessive loneliness, the authors always conclude that the best and only way to find true friends is stay true to oneself.
Social status plays a great role in life in the twenty-first century. We all strive to be the most successful, the richest, the best. It is of human nature to compete for what is believed as the best social position. Everyone wants to be looked up to, wants to be important. Sometimes, the yearning for importance goes beyond working for your desired position. A widespread method to gaining popularity and accomplishment is believed to be the development of friendship with a person more admired then oneself. Everyone at some point in their lives has tried to befriend an individual solely because of their power and success. A. Clutton Brocks’ essay, “On Friendship” appropriately describes the many illusions that are associated with friendship.
“If you choose your friends on the ground that you are virtuous and want virtuous company, you are no nearer to true friendship than if you choose them for commercial reasons. Besides, who are you that you should be setting a price upon your friendship?”
Brock tells his audience of the many misconceptions of what is perceived to be true friendship. The illusions many people distinguish as friendship may be no more than a desire to improve ones social standing. This type of friendship is the exact opposite of what true companionship is normally understood to be. This classification of friendship is profusely compiled of dishonesty, selfishness and greed and is typically put to use by one egotistical individual who is in search of nothing more than self-achievement and civic support. Brocks believes friendship to be something more than just the key to the executive room. He describes friendship as a bond between two individuals, which not prejudice, nor egotism nor shame can rupture.
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Friendship can be easily interpreted as another well-known factor in human life, love. In today’s society, friendships are frequently initiated with the first fleeting look, the first moment of complete infatuation, the first sign of physical attraction. Although many people believe that a person can only be judged by what is on the inside and personality outweighs all, it is hypocritical for any human being to honestly utter this statement. Everyone at some time in their life has judged another by their physical appearance and has ended up befriending them. There are certain individuals who center their cluster of acquaintances on physically attractive beings. The poem “My Addiction” fittingly describes a relationship where friendship has turned into courtship by way of physical attraction. The verses “My heart beats faster, as I take a look at you, I inhale deeply, I cant get enough of you,” and “I cannot close my eyes, dont wanna lose sight of you,” depicts the true, superficial feelings of the author. It is obvious that they were very much attracted to the person’s appearance rather than their individuality, or personality. Nowhere in the poem does the author mention their lover’s kind qualities, or good nature. They met with the physical interest at heart, and set off into a relationship based on that physical interest. “Every time I walk by you, my soul just melts, whenever you say, ‘I love you.’ life is worthwhile,” is yet another example of the many delusions regarding friendship. The infatuation-based friendship becomes love, which in turn develops into a sort of obsession between both parties. Soon, the physical attraction is believed to be love, and they are filled with physical passion towards one another. Naturally, because of this, many people profusely attempt to improve their appearance in hopes to attract more friends. This method, like many others, may seem to be a success, but the quality of friendship that lies in the individual searching for physically attractive companionship is no better than being alone. This author’s view of love is more physical than emotional. They try to illustrate to their audience the true feelings of friendship by physical attraction using phrases that are filled with emotion.
The author depicts friendship as an aspiring love between two people that is ignited with a physical passion. With the words “I dont want to stop touching you,” the author shows the reader that a friendly relationship is purely based on infatuated, sexual feelings, and not at all related to the individual qualities each person possesses.
As humans, we feel the need to associate with others. Be it with multitude of beings or a couple of individuals, the need to feel accepted thrives within everyone. When someone feels lonely and isolated, it is natural for them to strive to become accepted. This was the case in Naomi C. Powell’s short story, “Being comfortable with being weird.” The author demonstrates the feelings of a twelve-year-old girl after her only friend moves away. “I dressed with more caution than a bride before her wedding and flounced down the stairs in my new frilly lace skirt and white sweater, determined to find a new best friend.” The attitude of anyone who has experienced excessive loneliness is one of determination. The solitude the character faced had forced her to try and change herself for the sake of impressing soon-to-be-friends. The author’s loneliness drove her to think she was not adequate enough to have friends. The need to be accepted runs deep through everyone’s veins and compels them to result to desperate measures, such as the previously mentioned friendships; physical attraction, and social status. However, unlike the above-mentioned methods of friendships, loneliness is not premeditated. Loneliness is an unpredictable circumstance that periodically leaves its victims emotionally scarred. It may seem that loneliness is an inescapable situation, however, the author shines a ray of hope on the lonesome. “[I] decided that even if ‘weirdness’ meant having no friends at all, I was never going to be that person again. I had to be myself.” Throughout the story, the author shows their audience that being oneself is the way to attract true friends. Loneliness has a cure, and that cure is being yourself. Powell strongly believes that true friendship is found while one is being themselves and perfectly portrays this idea through her writing. With phrases such as, “I may have been popular, but I wasn’t happy,” Powell illustrates the girl’s frustration with trying to belong while struggling to maintain her own individuality.
These three ideas of friendship and the three reasons for creating friendships, social status, physical attraction, and excessive loneliness are some of the many diverse reasons in which all humans befriend one another. Although all three authors held a variety of different ideas of what friendship truly was, the conclusions were oddly similar, to find true friendship is to be true to yourself. Regardless of the method in which each author decided to portray in their work, their views on what makes a perfect friend stayed the same. In the end, it is not a question of how many friends you accumulate, but rather the quality of friendship in each one.
Powell, Naomi C. Being Comfortable With Being Weird,
http//teenwriting.about.com/library/blank/ucstory516.htm
http//www.blupete.com/literature/essays/best/cluttonfriendship.htm
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