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Many people have their heart broken at some point during the course of their lives by someone they love and felt they were supposed to be with forever. On top of being heart broken, that person is all of a sudden thrown back into the “singles scene” and is considered as being “on the rebound.” Almost everyone will feel their life is unraveling at the seams, and they must find their own way to go about mending it. Some people will lock themselves in their house for weeks, not wanting to talk to anyone. Some people will become very depressed and start hating themselves, thinking that there must be something wrong with them, and many will even go as far as to take their own lives. There will also be those people who go out and drink their sorrows away, or those who go out to clubs and parties and try to hook up with as many people as they can. Then you have the few admirable people who realize that they were too good for that person that dumped them anyways. They realize that the only person that they can ever trust and the real person they should love is themselves. That is exactly what Marilyn does in “Quilting on the Rebound” by Terry McMillan. McMillan’s use of Quilting Imagery, a proud tone, and descriptions of Marilyn, piece together the theme that being dumped is not necessarily a bad thing; you just have to put yourself first, leave the past behind, and do whatever it takes to “get your groove back.”
After Marilyn loses her unborn baby and Richard calls off the wedding, Marilyn begins to start quilting. McMillan uses quilting as a way to show that Marilyn is moving on with her life and starting fresh. Marilyn goes straight to her sewing machine as soon as Richard and her end their relationship for good. Webster’s Dictionary says that quilt means to “sew up” or “stitch together.” Marilyn sews up her old life with Richard when McMillan writes that when Marilyn “got to the end of the fabric,” she “pulled the top and bottom threads together and cut them on the thread counter” (578). Marilyn is sewing together the final threads in her life with Richard, and by cutting them she is officially acknowledging that she and Richard will never be together again. McMillan goes on to describe Marilyn as picking up “two different pieces” (578) of fabric. The new pieces of fabric represent Marilyn beginning a new life on her own. Marilyn has put the past behind her and is ready to begin sewing new memories, places, and people into her life.
McMillan is somewhat ashamed of Marilyn for continuing to pick men and get into relationships that were bound to fail. McMillan states that Marilyn had “created a pattern of choosing men that” she “knew would be a challenge” (57). She also says that many of the men Marilyn had picked were afraid of “committing to one woman” (57). This could possibly represent McMillan’s experience with men and how she has had trouble with men being able to commit. McMillan is also ashamed that Marilyn had to lie to Richard and not tell him about losing the baby, for fear of him leaving her. McMillan uses Marilyn’s mother to convey how disappointed and ashamed she is that Marilyn lied. Marilyn tells her mom that she has lost the baby and did not tell Richard because she was afraid that he would not want to marry her. Marilyn’s mom responds by saying that she “did not raise” Marilyn “to be dishonest” (577), and that “no man in the world is worth lying about something like this” (577). McMillan feels that when in a serious relationship, honesty is crucial, and if Marilyn feels the only way for Richard to love her is to lie, than that Richard is not worthy enough to have Marilyn. McMillan is ashamed that Marilyn was not able to realize this sooner.
Many women believe that if they are not married or do not have kids by a certain age that they will be frowned upon. This is the exact way Marilyn’s parents felt about Marilyn advancing in age but not advancing with a family. Marilyn’s dad simply stated that he “didn’t care who “ Marilyn “married as long as it was soon” (57), and Marilyn’s mom told Marilyn to give Richard an “ultimatum” (57), if he had not proposed by Marilyn’s thirty eight birthday. It is quite possible that Marilyn felt this way too. Marilyn at one point during the story says that she is “too old” (577) for Richard when she is contemplating over all the reasons Richard may have had for dumping her. There is a number of woman who may feel who may feel they have not fulfilled their role as a woman if they are not married by a certain age and have kids. There are still many people today who believe it is the traditional role of a woman to be a housewife and submissive to her man, but McMillan strives to unpick these thoughts that have been so tightly stitched into many women’s minds.
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McMillan’s tone and word choice throughout the story show how little faith she has in men, and how important she feels it is for a woman to know they can survive on their own. McMillan is very proud of women who are strong enough to live without a man and who feel good about themselves. She proves this through her tone and word choice when she portrays how Marilyn is living on her own. After Marilyn moves to Scottsdale and opens her own quilt shop she starts to feel very good and happy about herself. McMillan believes that the only person worth devoting all one’s energy to is themselves. This is shown when Marilyn says, “basically, I’m doing everything I can to make Marilyn feel good” (581). Marilyn has put her past behind her, and her new design for life is completely focused around her and her needs. McMillan wants women to know that a man does not have to be sewn into your life in order for a woman to be successful. Marilyn says that she has learned that she does not “need a man in order to survive.”
Being dumped and having to be on the rebound is of course going to be very difficult, but McMillan feels that the best thing to do is just to put all those old memories behind and move on with a new life, which is why she was so proud of Marilyn. The best way to deal with being on the rebound is simply to just throw away the old design for life pictured in your head, and begin to stitch a new pattern, one that involves loving yourself above all others.
Works Cited
McMillan, Terry. Quilting on the Rebound. The Norton Anthology of
African American Literature. Eds. Henry Louis Gates, Jr. and Nellie Y
McKay. New York W. W. Norton & Co, 17. 57-58.
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