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We now live in a day and age where couples cohabit before marriage because they are not in a hurry to make the legal commitment. They believe that by doing this they can test their compatibility and that it would benefit their relationship and/or future marriage. However, studies have been conducted on living together before marriage, which have proven that it can be detrimental to their relationship. In fact, actually living together before marriage may hurt the relationship because it can be argued that one does not focus on the actual commitment of marriage, the romance begins to fade, and (your rd point). Apparently, many people still think its better for them as the numbers of cohabiting couples increase every year.
In the last two decades it has became very common to live together before marriage. This has provided couples with the opportunity to experience the everyday living routine with each other. Based on this view, couples feel that if they can live together and get along out of wedlock then the same must be true for when they do get married. However, this argument only proves that if the couple does get along, meaning that each person behaves and keeps the other happy, they’ll continue the relationship. Otherwise, the relationship should be ended. Couples that live together often decide to marry because their arrangement worked so well that it seems logical to take the next step. When they wear the ring, however, the level of commitment has not evolved to reflect the new status, as the couple still has in their minds the old arrangement.
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This agreement of cohabiting will not allow the couples to experience the actual commitment of marriage. Marriage is taking care of each other through thick and thin. It’s a contract to build their life together under any circumstances they face daily. A newly married couple makes an effort to help and please each other because they know their relationship will be for life. The partners try their best to keep this relationship as healthy as possible, and face the challenge of learning from each other. The married couple tends to make compromises to make the relationship work. Compromises can be big or small but the point is that both parties are making an active effort to preserve their relationship. On the other hand, cohabiting couples tend not to change patterns of behavior because they do not feel the necessity to do so since the formal contract of marriage, along with its added responsibility, does not exist. The National Center for Health Statistics (NCHS), in a research in the U.S.A in 15 involving 11,000 women and men between 15-44, found that “couples who live together without marriage are twice as likely to split up five years after they move in together than couples that tie the knot” . Married couples also stay together longer because they haven’t yet explored their other partner, while the cohabiting couple has grown overly comfortable with each other.
Cohabiting can also kill the romance in a relationship. Couples get used to the everyday routine of things, they forget to see the necessity of being romantic and pleasing each other thus keeping the relationship vibrant. Romance inevitably begins to fade away and problems in the relationship begin to surface. Since there was no real commitment to begin with, much less effort is put forth in trying to revive the relationship, which usually ends.
Living together before marriage could show compatibility for some time, but it usually doesn’t lead to happiness together over a lifetime, as seen by the statistics. Couples gain happiness and feel compatible when both agree to take each other’s feelings into account every time they make a decision. Cohabiting couples are usually not motivated to do so, while married couples without cohabiting are more motivated and successful in doing so. Cohabiting in essence seems to hurt a marriage and life together rather than helping. People forget that marrying isn’t just about getting along well with their partner. Its also learning to live together any problems which they will encounter, and solving their problem united as one. That is of course the essence of marriage.
Finally, living together before marriage may also hurt the relationship because ………………………..
Although the benefit of living together before marriage could test compatibility, it doesn’t enable the couple to work together to build a strong foundation. This occurs when both partners take each other’s feelings into account every time they make a decision. Cohabiting couples are usually not motivated to do so; it’s often the case that each person is thinking of himself or herself and not what is best for both. This occurs out of habit because they are not married. Cohabiting in essence seems to hurt a marriage and life together rather than helping. People forget that marrying isn’t just about getting along well with their partner. It’s also about learning to live through any problems they will encounter and solving them together. That is the essence of marriage.
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