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John Bowlby wrote “The Making and Breaking of Affectional Bonds’” to expand on what Maudsley published in the 1860’s and also to expand on what was talked about during the fiftieth Maudsley lectures in 176. The thesis of this lecture was basically that if we are to help someone with an attachment problem, we have to look at how they are in their relationships now and see how they may have been influenced by what had happened in their childhood and adolescence, and how that pattern continues in the present.
There are many ideas that led up to what we now know as the attachment theory. Before the mid 150’s it was felt that bonds were created between people because of their basic needs, (p. 0). A mother and a child would bond because when the child wanted food, he would cry and the mother would supply him with that food. Food and sex were considered to be primary needs of the child, whereas dependency was a secondary need, (p. 0). The theory of imprinting soon followed the first theory of the nature of affectional bonds. This disregarded the importance of food in the attachment of the child to the mother, but said that the two bond solely because the child comes in contact with the mother so often; she becomes a familiar figure to the child, (p. 0).
The definition that Bowlby gives for affectional bonds is as follows “behavior that results in a person attaining or retaining proximity to some other differentiated and preferred individual who is conceived as stronger and/or wiser”, (p. 0). Bowlby goes on to say that as the child continues to age and mature, the child exhibits less and less attachment behavior. They begin to rely on themselves more than the mother figure.
In this paper, Bowlby talks about seven different elements to the attachment theory. The first, specificity says that the child will be attached to one or few individuals and the order that he is attached to them will be clear, (p. 0). The next that he talks about is the duration that the child is attached to the figure. Generally, they are attached for most of the child’s life, as early attachments are hard to get rid of. Bowlby also states that the child will have the capacity to create new attachments when he or she enters into adolescence, (p. 0). The third factor in the theory is the engagement of emotion. This is that the emotions that we feel in our life are the result of change in the bonds that we have. This may be because of falling in love, a death, or the threat of loosing someone that we love, (p. 0). Ontogeny is the fourth principle in the attachment theory. This states that the more an infant sees an individual, the more attached they will become to that individual. Generally speaking, the child will see the mothering figure most often, so according to this theory the child will become strongly attached to them, (p. 0). The fifth element in the attachment theory is learning. Bowlby feels that rewards and punishments, which are often used to teach children how to behave, will not necessarily work with attachment. He found that even though the child was repeatedly punished from the mother figure, there still developed a very strong bond between the two, (p. 0). Organization is the sixth element in the Bowlby’s theory and it has to do with how attachment is organized in the child’s mind. He feels that when the child is an infant, attachment behavior is simple, but as it grows older the feelings get more and more complex. For example, when an infant isn’t touching it’s mother or another attachment figure, it will cry. When the child gets older, they may cry when the mother leaves the room, but not necessarily when the mother is standing within seeing distance. Though the child may not be touching the mother, the fact that she is present may comfort them, (Pp. 0-04). The final element in the attachment theory is the biological function. This simply states that this behavior takes place in the young of almost all mammals and is completely normal, (p. 04).
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One thing that I found very interesting in this paper was the difference between dependence and attachment. Bowlby states that “dependence is not specifically related to maintenance of proximity, it is not directed towards a specific individual, it does not imply an enduring bond, nor is it necessarily associated with strong feelings”, (p. 04). He goes on to say that people that are dependent are generally looking for approval from others, not a real attachment, and they don’t realize that having people for them to be attached to is necessary for mental health, (p. 04).
Bowlby also talks about two different patterns of behavior that are seen. The first is exploration. This is when we see a young child being curious about his or her surroundings. The go off and try to find out more and more about their surroundings. This is opposite from the attachment behavior, as it often leads the child away from their attachment figure. Bowlby feels that a healthy child will have a balance between the attachment behavior and exploration, (p. 04). The other behavior that is talked about is care giving behavior, which is complimentary to the attachment behavior. The caregiver primarily is available and secondarily responsive to the needs of the child. Evidence shown says that if the attachment figure is an attentive caregiver, the child will grow up to be a mentally healthy adult (p. 04-05).
An interesting question that Bowlby tackles asks that if separation from an attachment figure illicits fear and the situation is not truly dangerous, can the child be considered neurotic if they react negatively to it, (p. 05). Bowlby feels that the answer to this is no because although the situation itself may not be dangerous, the child may sense an increased risk. If a child in this situation hears something like a loud noise, they will take this as a threat to their safety and react in such a way. Bowlby concludes, “anxiety over an unwilling separation can be a perfectly normal healthy reaction, (p. 05).
Bowlby makes some conclusions about individuals who are considered anxious or insecure. Research shows that these people often have been exposed to one or more of the following statements
a) the parent was unresponsive to the child’s behavior
b) the child not having the same guardian their whole life. Parents
missing for large portions of child’s life
c) parents threatened not to love the child
d) parents threatened to kill the other parent/commit suicide
themselves
e) parents made the child to feel responsible for an illness or death
in the family
When reading these statements, it seems quite obvious that a child who had experienced this may have problems later on in life developing attachments to other people. “All of these behaviors can lead [them] to live in constant anxiety that he will lose his attachment figures”, (p. 07). This can cause the person to develop what is known as anxious attachments. Anxious attachments can also be formed when the mother begins to think of the child as an attachment figure for herself, not letting the child out of her sight and reprimanding it if she were to not near the mother at all times. This can cause the child to be agoraphobic (not wanting to leave the house) or cause the child to be afraid of going to school and leaving the mother behind, (p. 07).
The opposite of this anxious attachment is compulsive self-reliance. This is when the person wants to do everything for his or her self and they don’t want to rely on anyone else for fear of rejection or the fear of ending up as someone else’s caretaker. It is often seen that people who are compulsively self-reliant have an underlying resentment that yearns for love and support, (p. 07).
In both of these (anxious attachment and compulsive self-reliance) it’s seen that they often work themselves out later in life as either demanding love and care in a relationship, or by compulsive care giving but feeling that the care-giving was neither appreciated nor reciprocated, (p. 08). Often these people are classified as psychopathic or hysterical, delinquent or suicidal, (p. 08). However they are classified, they can definitely be noticed in society.
I feel that Bowlby gives a strong introduction to further research in this topic. This particular theory has been researched countless times and many others have published their own theories based on Bowlby’s research. It takes into account many different aspects of the child’s interaction with the mother during both infancy and early childhood and gives sound reasons why some children develop differently than others.
One important conclusion that we can draw from this study is that it’s important for every child to have a person that they are able to attach themselves to both physically and emotionally. The child has to feel nurtured and loved for it to be able to develop solid relationships of their own as they get older. Without the ability for them to be loved by their child, they are only repeating the cycle that made them who they are today.
References
Bowlby, John (177). “The making and breaking of Affectional Bonds Aetiology and
Psychopathology in the Light of Attachment Theory.” Pp. 01-10 in The British Journal of Psychiatry.
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